Kelli: [00:00:00] You ready to get Jesus-y?
Matt: [00:00:06] Welcome back to Quiche-Anon, your absolute favorite podcast about conspiracy theories and cooking, I’m one of your hosts, Matt, and.
Kelli: [00:00:14] I am Kelli your other host.
Matt: [00:00:16] We really need to think of a better open to this life. Something clever, I don’t know. So, listeners, if you have ideas for for clever openings or things we could say at the beginning to introduce the show, let us know. You can tweet us at Quiche-Anon or just you know, I mean, if you’re listening to the show, you probably know us. So you can just text us or whatever.
Kelli: [00:00:37] Yeah, mom, just yell at me.
Matt: [00:00:40] I’m I’m not sure. In fact, I’m fairly positive that my mother doesn’t listen to this, which it wouldn’t if I knew that she did. It wouldn’t affect anything, but she might get a kick out of it. I don’t know. I should I should bug her and give her a hard time and tell her and be like, well, Kelli’s mom listens to the show.
Kelli: [00:00:57] My mom is like the mom out of mom. So she’s our number one fan. Automatically, she would do anything we do. She’ll be the number one fan of. So perfect.
Matt: [00:01:06] When we were trying to figure out the topic for this episode, I put out a Twitter poll, I think last week, and we said, OK, here’s like some ideas which would you like us to talk about or give us a reply with something else? And the other day then Kelli is like, OK, well, as a result of the poll, because I need to do my research this weekend and it was a dead heat, 50 percent, 50 percent versus 911 and Jesus conspiracy theories. I was like, well, that’s not helpful. So Kelli said, what if we we should go to the instr for the tiebreaker? And Kelli put out an insta story with a poll saying which of these? And also the photo was amazingly perfect. It was basically a statue that was Jesus holding up the Twin Towers. Indeed it was. So after after a little bit, Kelli texted me and said, I need you to share this story with more people because it’s a tie right now. And I need to know and as you may or may not know, if you’re more knowledgeable about the social media than I am, you can’t share another story like that to your story. And instead, you could only kind of send it as a message.
Kelli: [00:02:16] So didn’t know, by the way, until I started doing the Quiche-Anon Insta and it yelled at me like five times and it was like, you can’t share because it has “tappable elements”.
Kelli: [00:02:26] Oh, like “tappable. Oh oh. I’m sorry about your rules.
Kelli: [00:02:31] No, I think it only tells me because I manage the account, but it doesn’t pop up tappable elements. I was like relax.
Matt: [00:02:38] Yeah. For me when I went to it it didn’t even have the option, it was just you could send to people. So I sent it to a whole bunch of people as a message. And I you know, you can put a message along with when you share it. And I said something like, hey, we need ideas for our pod. First of all, not everybody checks Instagram every five seconds. So a lot of the people I sent it to do some people have lives.
Kelli: [00:02:58] I don’t know who. Very concerned about these people.
Matt: [00:03:01] So some of the people didn’t check it for days. But even if they checked it, apparently within a couple hours, by the time they saw that the story had expired. So all they saw was a message for me with like kind of a thing saying story expired. That said, we need ideas for our pod. So a few of them actually just sent stuff. But I over the course of them, yeah, most of the weekend, I basically was about once an hour sending a message on Instagram saying, no, no, no, this is what it was. And I actually had a screenshot of it. I’m like, no, this is what it was. Never mind.
Kelli: [00:03:33] Sorry, I checked the insta poll and there was about three hours left and it was tied twenty to twenty. And I was like, come on. I was like, this is absolutely no good, but shout out to my friend Lala because Lala sent the story to every single one of her friends and they were online right away because they broke this tie for me so fast and I didn’t know who any of these people were and they were all we just had her in common is our mutual friend.
Kelli: [00:03:55] So thank you, Lala, if you’re listening for helping us choose Jesus.
Matt: [00:04:00] And hopefully those people like subscribed and will be listening to this episode that they helped to influence, this is a very long way to get to what we decided on and now what we decided on. But what Lala’s friends decided on for us is that our topic is the Jesus.
Kelli: [00:04:17] I would also just one last note about polling was laughing because all of my Catholic friends were voting Jesus and all of my male friends were voting 9/11. And I was like, what a divide in listenership. All twenty of our listeners have such strong opinions, you know?
Matt: [00:04:32] And again, it’s like you think that everybody knows what’s going on and what you do. But social media is ephemeral. So even though I tweet about doing the show a lot, if people don’t happen to be checking the timeline at that time. So there were a few people that replied to this that had no idea about Quiche-Anon, but we’re really excited about it and had had thoughts. Right. So I guess that’s sort of my way of saying also, if you do have the socials and especially in something ephemeral like Twitter, it’s OK to feel like you’re repeating yourself about something because, you know, people have to catch it at the right. But that would be on a social media podcast, which this is not, this is a podcast about the Jesus.
Kelli: [00:05:10] Yes Jesus, the big J-C.
Kelli: [00:05:13] That’s what we’ll be covering this week. Jesus was kind of a tough topic to research, just warning you all, because it’s very varied. So this might get to like DaVinci Code territory more than you were wanting, but I’m sure it’ll be fun for all 12 of our listeners.
Matt: [00:05:30] It’s not like you would expect anything less out of this. You know, we kind of have to go off on to these these different spurs.
Kelli: [00:05:38] Yes, we will do many Jesus episodes because I came up with really random stuff here. And so I focus on kind of some big ones for the beginning. But I’m sure in the future we can come back to Christianity conspiracies.
Matt: [00:05:50] Yeah, I mean, there’s there’s no reason… It’s callbacks, right? We kind of have have the master episode, so to speak, and then kind of more specifics. What’s what’s the first thing? Because I know people like you said, there’s a lot of stuff. You know, we go into The Da Vinci Code and the Knights Templar. And I had a friend years ago who studied Knights Templar that was like her thing.
Kelli: [00:06:11] And so I a here. Where is she?
Matt: [00:06:14] I haven’t talked to her in forever, but no. And she’s not on social media, as far as I know. She doesn’t even exist around. But Matt’s friend Jolene, if you happen to be listening, reach out to us because you know, you could talk some some Templar what’s actually OK.
Matt: [00:06:29] I don’t want to go off onto a total tangent, but I’m interested, you know, I mean, all source to our guests and see what they think about this idea and specifically Kelli’s mom, because I think we get the most feedback.
Kelli: [00:06:40] Number one fan. She texts me where the episode is. She wants to know why we haven’t released a new one yet. She gives me feedback sometimes.
Kelli: [00:06:47] She tells me she shares it with other people, which I take is a good sign that she liked it. Yes, yes.
Kelli: [00:06:53] Like and subscribe. So we’ve Kelli and I’ve been talking over the last few weeks of of as we’re talking about, this is, you know, we’ve had several people who have expressed a desire to be a guest on the show, and we’ve been kind of trying to figure out how that would work. So I think what we’re thinking is if we have a guest, it might just be kind of a segment of the show when that kind of comes in. So let’s.
Kelli: [00:07:14] We’re the stars.
Matt: [00:07:14] We are the stars. At least two of the people who have reached out to be guests are the kind of people that would absolutely dominate and take over our show.
Kelli: [00:07:23] That’s fine. I’ll just be sipping wine in the background while they talk and let you deal with editing later. It’ll be my favorite episode we’ve ever recorded.
Matt: [00:07:31] So as you may know or you may not know, we do provide transcripts of our episodes, which you can find if you go to our website at Quiche-Anon dot com and you look at an episode, there’s a button to show transcript. And one of the interesting things that comes out of that is a service that I use. You don’t have to go in. And I have to say, like who was talking at what point? And it will give a breakdown of percentage of time. We think we’ve I’ve only done this for two episodes so far, but Kelli and I end up about fifty fifty, which was surprising. I’m so proud of us.
Kelli: [00:08:01] It’s surprising because I talk so much constantly and you are shocked that you got a word.
Matt: [00:08:05] And no, I was actually afraid that I was talking too much, so I feel like that worked out so well. Where do we get started with talking about JC here?
Kelli: [00:08:15] First of all, I’m warning to all of our listeners that I’ve had a rough one, so I’m drinking some Jesus juice right now while we do this. So things may unravel quickly here on Quiche-Anon. But as a former Catholic schoolgirl who always identified more Magdalene than Virgin, I thought we’d start with Mary Magdalene and all the conspiracy surrounding her and who she was to Jesus and who she might be to other people.
Matt: [00:08:39] I think maybe for some context of where we’re coming from, because you gave a little background. You grew up in Catholic school and everything. So I did not. I’m Jewish. I was raised vaguely in that way. So we don’t have to have a whole thing about where I come from. I did go through the RCIA process years ago, so I have been confirmed Catholic or whatever that is. So but most of what I know is been consolidated just like that one year of our RCIA. And we didn’t talk a lot about Mary Magdalene.
Kelli: [00:09:07] So I’m very excited to learn that on your journey, one year Catholicism, they didn’t teach you about Mary Magdalene. Well, I mean, I think what most people know about Mary Magdalene or the common belief about her was that she was a reformed sex worker. We will find out that this is not true and was a lie perpetuated by the Catholic Church to keep women down as they do over there. But so Mary Magdalene was basically an apostle of Jesus is she was one of his apostles. And she’s very important to the Catholic faith and Christianity, but to the Catholic faith, especially because she was the first person to witness his resurrection and she was also present at his crucifixion. And maybe the Last Supper will get into a few things about that. She was a woman from Magdala, a Galilean fishing town, and she was a female disciple of Jesus. She’s really rarely mentioned in the Bible, which is, I think, how she’s become such a figure, where there’s lots of maybe conspiracies or like different stuff, because in all of the Bible, she’s only mentioned 13 times. Even though she was a super important figure to Jesus, allegedly, according to a lot of people, after all this stuff. So in the Last Supper, the painting of the Last Supper, you know, there is an effeminate figure sitting directly to the right of Jesus. And people now argue that that is Mary Magdalene and that she was seated to the right of him because and that means she is his wife. And that’s why she was painted in the Last Supper, seated to the right of him. She was also an enemy of Peter the Apostle.
Kelli: [00:10:32] So she’s also painted in there because her and Peter had beef they had beef.
Kelli: [00:10:41] It’s so funny because biblical beef is just the best beef. And Mary Magdalene was purported to be the one who washed Jesus’s feet before the Last Supper. And when Peter and the other apostles were like, Jesus, can we wash your feet? He was like, no, my girl Mary Magdalene already did it. OK, in nineteen forty five, a set of papers called the Gnostic Gospels. I can’t speak the English… Were discovered. The authenticity is still disputed. But in these gospels was a gospel. The Gospel of Philip and in the Gospel of Philip is where all this jealousy between Peter and Mary Magdalene is written about. So again, this is disputed. This is debatable. I don’t want to do this podcast to upset anyone’s faith. That’s not what we’re here for. I’m just talking about conspiracy theories that other people talk about. And basically he-man woman hater, Pope Gregory, the first, he called her a prostitute and told everyone that we shouldn’t think of her as an apostle. She wasn’t a good follower of Jesus. She was just a prostitute. There was no evidence of this. And in nineteen sixty nine, the Catholic Church admitted that this was all falsified like that.
Kelli: [00:11:48] She was never a prostitute or a sex worker. Sorry. And it was basically just another thing where women are sinners and women need to work in the service of men. And it was used to keep women out of the Catholic priesthood. So there’s also a gospel of Mary discovered, the gospel of Mary Magdalene. It was discovered in the early 19th century, but was thought to be written in the second century and maybe even when Jesus was still alive. So sometime between five B.C and 30 A.D. and this gospel of Mary was purported to be written by her about what she witnessed as Jesus apostle again, a disputed document. But there’s nothing more fascinating to me than like just old biblical documents people find and just put all this meaning into it and tell us this is how it was in five A.D. Like, it’s kind of wild. Like I said, she’s only mentioned in the Bible about 13 times and once is in the Gospel of Luke, where it’s purported that Jesus did an exorcism on Mary Magdalene and expelled seven demons from her. I don’t know what type do you want to guess, Matt?
Matt: [00:12:44] I don’t know. What what are some of the types of demons? Like when you talk about different demon types, are they like slobbery versus leathery or do they have, like, actual typing?
Kelli: [00:12:55] I personally have only had one or two exorcisms performed on me, so I’m not really sure what it’s supposed to have.
Matt: [00:13:01] It’s not really a sample size. We can we can we certainly couldn’t come up with seven different demon types.
Kelli: [00:13:06] But anyway, the biggest Mary Magdalene conspiracy that I want to talk about is that Mary Magdalene is the Holy Grail. This is kind of what the book The Da Vinci Code is about, if you’ve ever read it. But there’s actually a ton to this. Like Dan Brown did not just make this up.
Matt: [00:13:21] Dan Brown didn’t make up anything, by the way. He is a… I will go on record and say that Dan Brown is a hack. I mean, I read The Da Vinci Code. It was all right. I’ve read some of his other stuff. And it’s just I can’t remember the one. It’s not Angels and Demons, but there’s one where he purportedly talks about computer security and everything.
Matt: [00:13:42] I’m not this person that’s like, oh, well, you made this small mistake or whatever. But like, the entire conceit of the book is grounded in make-believe beliefs of how things work.
Matt: [00:13:52] And it’s also like I feel like it was very apparent what was going on by like the fifteenth page. So anyway, Dan Brown is a hack. You heard it here first, actually. You guarantee you didn’t hear it here for the first time.
Kelli: [00:14:04] Dan Brown novels are exactly the kind of paperback I just love to devour on a plane. They’re my my essence. If I can’t find, like, a John Grisham or I don’t know, I love a Dan Brown. But what happened with Tom Hanks’s hair in Angels and Demons is a crime against humanity and something we need to all talk about more. It was disgusting. So in 2012, the Egyptians uncovered a document thought to be written around 30 to A.D. shortly after Jesus’s death called the Gospel of Jesus, his wife. And in this document, there are some allegations that Jesus and Mary Magdalene kissed. OK, irrefutable proof. I know. Very scandalous. There’s also a book called The Lost… The Lost Gospel by Simsim to Jacob, Vertue. Maybe, I don’t know. My handwriting is a little sketchy there. And I didn’t Google pronunciations, as always. And Barry Wilson. And they claim the Virgin Mary was Jesus’s wife, not his mom, the Virgin Mary. Yeah.
Matt: [00:15:01] So this is a different Mary.
Kelli: [00:15:02] This is totally different, Mary. But that’s all I could find on it was this one books so I’m just slipping it in here.
Matt: [00:15:07] Got it.
Kelli: [00:15:08] Just right here. The book was based off this gospel of Jesus’s wife. They think the Virgin Mary wrote it. Sorry, that was a little unclear.
Matt: [00:15:15] I mean, it’s understandably confusing. It’s a little bit like that part in Goodfellas when Lorraine Bracco is like and everybody was named Peter, Paul, and they were married Mary or whatever. Right.
Matt: [00:15:25] So it’s you know, there’s only so many names.
Kelli: [00:15:28] That’s so accurate, too, because you just go into any Catholic family and everyone’s named Joey and John. There’s no other names for the men. OK, so we’re going to get to the Holy Grail part. So I’m going to do a little background on, like, how the Holy Grail came back into pop, not pop culture, but back into, like, the zeitgeist, kind of what.
Matt: [00:15:44] Was Indiana Jones.
Kelli: [00:15:46] No, I’m going wasn’t much further back.
Kelli: [00:15:48] I’m going to I’m going to be 18, 18, three,
Matt: [00:15:52] Predating Monty Python and predating Sean Connery.
Kelli: [00:15:56] Got a little bit, but I did watch both of those films in preparation for recording this episode. This.
Matt: [00:16:02] Oh, that is excellent. I’m so excited about that.
Kelli: [00:16:04] Much better than Capricorn One. So in eighteen eighteen, a German man, Joseph on Whammer, purged, all connected the Holy Grail to the Knights Templar in a book he wrote. And so that the Knights Templar were still an active organization obsessed with the mystical relic of the Holy Grail.
Matt: [00:16:24] And sometimes they like raced around in boats and chased Harrison Ford.
Kelli: [00:16:29] Well for fun as a treat in the early 20th century.
Kelli: [00:16:33] So a little bit after this, French writers connected the Holy Grail to the Knights Templar, also under the Cather’s. So we’re just going to do a real brief thing. The Knights Templar is a Catholic military order that were based at the Temple Mount. They were disbanded at some point in like 11, 20. But some people still say that they exist, some fringe underground secret group, which I choose to believe because it’s fun. And the Cather’s are a medieval religious sect between the 12th and 14th centuries in northern Italy and southern France. And they were challenging papal authority and they were kind of more of a legit known threat than the Knights Templar. The Cather’s definitely did some stuff to try and f with the papacy papacy, papacy pope, what would a bad Catholic, the pope and our old conspiracy friends, the Nazis, were also super obsessed with the Holy Grail. Himmler himself funded an expedition and expedition to find the Grail. I didn’t really do a lot of that. That might be a whole other episode of like Nazi conspiracies, but.
Matt: [00:17:33] Even more Indiana Jones content then too.
Kelli: [00:17:35] Absolutely. So basically the reason this German guy connected the Holy Grail to Mary Magdalene and all this stuff was because a guy in 2010, Wolfram von Eschenbach, wrote a poem called Percival. And in parts of all, it’s literally just like people searching for the Grail. And he’s the one that wrote about the Knights Templar not being a militia anymore, but being like a mystical organization, protecting the Grail and protecting all these relics. So the Holy Grail itself, there’s conspiracies around what it is and where it came from. Some say it’s a cup that Jesus drank from the Last Supper and the same cup that Joseph collected his blood with at the crucifixion. Some say it’s a metaphor for the kingdom of heaven itself. Others say it’s a plate. Some say it’s Mary Magdalene. As I’m getting too slowly but surely, some say it’s Glastonbury, England. I don’t know how to say that, but some say that that city is the Holy Grail and the city contains the portal to heaven.
Matt: [00:18:37] It’s a simple wooden cup. I’ve seen the movie. I know what the Holy Grail is. This is I thought we solved this.
Kelli: [00:18:45] Some people just don’t believe science, OK? Some people don’t want to believe what they saw on the movie, Matt. Basically, the Holy Grail, the quest for the Holy Grail, all this stuff is just a bunch of religion, mysticism, history, fantasy and just fun stuff come together. So Holy Grail chasers still now largely believe it’s a real object, not like the Kingdom of Heaven itself. And others even believe the Knights Templar was created as a like a ruse, that they were never a militia, but they were always guarding the Holy Grail. Philip, the fifth of France, King Philip, the fifth of France, destroy the Knights Templar to destroy the secrets they held, according to some people. But basically, this is just kind of a fun conspiracy and fun thing to talk about, because there’s so much accurate history involved in this that they, like, used to pretend it was for the Holy Grail, like just very real things, kings and queens and just other noblemen did or the popes did. And there like it must be because of the Holy Grail. And I’m like, sure, why not? But so the big theory is that the Holy Grail is the descendant, the bloodline of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. Some people believe that immediately following the crucifixion, Mary Magdalene was a few months pregnant with their daughter, Sarah, and she was secret away to southern France by the Knights Templar. And the descendants of Jesus Christ in southern France became the. I’m closing because I actually looked up how to pronounce this, and I’m forgetting the Merovingian dynasty or dynasty, if you will. So Mary Magdalene birthed Jesus Christ daughter, Sarah Christ. I don’t know. And she intermarried with the nobles of southern France and they became the Maria England dynasty. So some people literally, quite literally, believe that the the womb of Mary Magdalene was the holy grail that Jesus was referring to, which is like he must have really loved her. That and if he was like her womb is the Holy Grail.
Matt: [00:20:39] Well, I mean, to be fair, at the time, the Holy Grail didn’t mean what it means now. So as a comparison, it’s more like your womb is the Holy Grail, if you like. Oh, OK. I don’t know what that is. That’s not a thing yet.
Kelli: [00:20:51] She’s like “Jesus is talking about crazy over here again, about my womb”. You can’t stop. So this theory became popular again in the 80s because a book called Holy Blood and Holy Grail by Michael I never know Michael B. Richard Lee and Henry Lincoln. They wrote this book in 1982 and they said The Secret Society called The Priori of Zion that was started in 1099 and should be an episode in and of itself at some point, because Da Vinci, Isaac Newton and Victor Hugo have all been the grand master of the secret society. Many others I didn’t know of. And The Priori of Zion is apparently devoted to restoring the Merovingian dynasty because they want Jesus’s blood relatives to be on the thrones throughout Europe and they want them to dethrone the pope. And they say that’s why the the popes always were haters to Mary Magdalene because they knew she had Jesus’s baby and they didn’t want to lose their power.
Matt: [00:21:49] Incidentally, I cannot wait to see what our transcription service does with some of these names.
Kelli: [00:21:53] So it’s bad enough that I can’t speak English and I’m saying words like Merovingian. So basically they think that the remaining Knights Templar are stationed all throughout Europe and they are the military and financial branch of the Merovingian dynasty. And the descendants of the Merovingian dynasty are just waiting to seize power because they’re the true one and only powers, because they came from Mary Magdalene as well, which is the Holy Grail,
Matt: [00:22:21] As we all know, at least in the last five minutes.
Kelli: [00:22:24] Yeah, it’s just common knowledge and it’s very correct. So basically, the Catholic Church, this is where it gets a little sketchy and weird because it’s true. Yeah. Well, you know, the Catholic Church has always been some shady bitches. All right. And so, like, they did spend quite a bit of money, time, resources and effort trying to kill every one of the Merovingian Dynasty. And like, why would you devote that much time and energy to killing pretenders? Some of them say that the Holy Grail was the boat Mary Magdalene was secretly away on because it didn’t have a master, or so it looked like a cup.
Matt: [00:22:59] It seems that seems like a reach.
Kelli: [00:23:01] It was my favorite theory because it’s so stupid, like like all boats kind of look like cups if you try hard enough.
Kelli: [00:23:09] I know you are kind of floating around on a bowl.
Matt: [00:23:13] That feels like it’s a scenario where you’re like, we have to have a grail. What’s around that look? Sure. It’s like George Glass and The Brady Bunch, right. You know, I mean, you’re just naming things that are in front of you.
Kelli: [00:23:27] I just love picturing some confused people being like, we must have a grail, what looks like a cup. But anyway, yeah. So basically this conspiracy is that Jesus, not Mary Magdalene, up with this woman, a daughter named Sarah and Sarah intermarried with the nobles and created the Merovingian dynasty. And they are waiting in secret, financed by the Knights Templar and the Priory of Scion to dethrone the pope. Been waiting a long time. Well, like, how much power does the pope have right now? They’re waiting for, like, the worst possible moment.
Matt: [00:23:58] I was going to say, I think that’s what happened. Is there like we just got to wait. We just got it’s like people with GameStop stock right there, like going to hold out a little bit more and it’s like “dude, you should have sold it”. So it’s like Merovingian dynasty man you, like, missed your window and you’re just throwing good money after bad at this point.
Kelli: [00:24:14] I feel like once we did Vatican II, they should have realized that nothing was going to happen for them. Who knows? I mean, I’m sure they have a ton of cash, but I think if you’re a secret organization called the Knights Templar, you two have a lot of cash. I can’t believe that’s like poor people in the Knights Templar because this seems like weird rich people shit to me. So that’s pretty much it with Mary Magdalene. What we do know about her is very little, which makes it ripe for conspiracies.
Matt: [00:24:40] There is no what we do with conspiracy theories. They’re there to fill in the blanks.
Kelli: [00:24:43] Yeah, we just make up whatever we don’t know.
Matt: [00:24:45] Right. Yeah. Searching for answers, which is kind of why religion exists too, because we need to explain something we don’t understand.
Kelli: [00:24:52] Yes. And like I said, maybe in another episode we can do more in the Knights Templar. It was hard to contain this and narrow it down.
Matt: [00:24:59] You know, I think the Knights Templar are their own, their own story and their own episode. But they sort of.
Kelli: [00:25:05] And generally touch this when I was looking up for conspiracies about like Jesus or Christianity, it’s hard because these things are all thought of as conspiracies now and more just this whole mystical, unknown history in a way like it’s almost like mythology a little bit at this point.
Matt: [00:25:21] Right. It’s not like it’s just sort of like, oh, and it’s not super serious or not. But, you know, it’s a thing that’s kind of interesting, I guess.
Kelli: [00:25:29] Yeah. And it was really fascinating because usually when I’m Googling conspiracy theories, it’s like blogs or articles, self published or self publish books. But this is like history dotcom.
Matt: [00:25:39] I was just going to say and I figure I feel like you probably find like doctoral thesis and dissertations and stuff on this, right?
Kelli: [00:25:47] Oh, many.
Matt: [00:25:49] Versus Reddit.
Kelli: [00:25:50] I did not go to the Jesus Reddit thread because I was not mentally prepared. But it’s a lot of even like sermons that priests or pastors have published. And I was like, OK, because there was a lot just with who. Mary Magdalene is a crucial figure in the Bible, even though she’s not in there a lot. So there’s a lot written on her by like historians and religious scholars. So it was kind of interesting. Yeah. And I don’t know? If you believe this. Why not? You know.
Matt: [00:26:16] Well, what about like the other Mary? Right. Because I think there’s there’s kind of a whole thing that’s crucial to to all of this, which is this like can I can I quote from what you wrote in our show prep doc, which is in all caps, it says “a virgin birth. Sure”.
Kelli: [00:26:34] It just seems like something like, well, you’re you’re 16 and pregnant. You’re like, maybe you could tell my parents this one and they’ll kind of believe it and not be as mad.
Matt: [00:26:46] Well, you could have until it became Jesus. And that ruined it for everybody else who wanted to do that, because then they’re like, you didn’t come up with that.
Matt: [00:26:55] You know, that’s that’s a you’re just copying Mary of Gailliee. Yeah, weird.
Kelli: [00:27:00] Weird, Kelsie, you know, your baby hasn’t turned water into wine yet. He said this was a virgin birth.
Matt: [00:27:07] Is there an MTV show that’s like “16 and Pregnant with the Messiah”?
Kelli: [00:27:10] Mm hmm. It’s a very special season, different from all the other girls. OK, so the Virgin Mary, the one I identified less with, is allegedly, according to the Bible, impregnated with the power of the Holy Spirit with Jesus.
Matt: [00:27:28] If I’m in or I’m just going to say while you’re recovering here, although this probably won’t help, is I feel like this is also a categorically big difference between like the Christian mythology or the more modern mythology. Then you look at like Greek mythology or Roman mythology, where it’s like when a God decided that they wanted to look like they actually like turn it some animal and like banged somebody. And that’s like how Heracules was born or something. But it’s like, no, but for Jesus, it’s through the Holy Spirit. Like, it doesn’t I mean, that’s just sort of some bullshit.
Matt: [00:28:01] It’s like you don’t even like, get to have sex with, like a swan or something like you would if you were Greek.
Kelli: [00:28:08] A swan!
Matt: [00:28:09] I’m pretty sure at some point Zeus turned into a swan and like, fucked someone. I mean, I know he’s been other things, but I’m sure a swan showed up somewhere in there.
Kelli: [00:28:17] It’s actually funny you bring that up, because one of the essays I looked at for this talks about how it was widely believed at the time because of that. So because the Greek and Roman mythologies were very much like the gods were constantly getting impregnated with whomever or impregnating humans for whatever, like in the time it was a very believable in life.
Matt: [00:28:36] Like, well, yeah, yeah.
Matt: [00:28:37] That’s of course.
Kelli: [00:28:38] It’s absolutely just like in society that of course you could become pregnant any time by maybe whoever. We don’t know. It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to have sex, you can just become pregnant. What I was laughing at earlier was I Googled an essay about the Virgin Mary and like the real origins of how she became pregnant. And it said, scholars and historians call the claim of the virgin birth “flimsy”.
Matt: [00:29:01] That’s generous.
Kelli: [00:29:02] And I was like, yes, quite flimsy. OK, so there’s two kind of different ways that the virgin birth is talked about in the Bible, which is our main source for this episode’s material. So in the Gospel of Matthew or the Book of Matthew, I don’t know. Joseph and Mary don’t live together. They’re not yet betrothed. And I had to Google this because betrothed in biblical times meant something different than it does now. If you were betrothed to someone, you were already married, but you hadn’t had the ceremony yet, so you didn’t live in their house. When you hear the story growing up or at school or whatever, it’s that Joseph and Mary were married and then she became impregnated with Jesus by the Holy Spirit. But in the book of Matthew, they are betrothed, but they have not yet had the ceremony, so they have never lived together. And then a spirit comes to her in a dream and says, I’m about to pop the Messiah in you don’t panic. And in the book of Luke, though, the other way, Joseph and Mary do live together, but they are. Spirit visits her and tells her she’s having a kid. But it’s not with Joseph. It’s with the Holy Spirit.
Kelli: [00:30:05] And she’s puzzled by this,
Matt: [00:30:08] That seems to be the least the minimum you would expect would be to be puzzled, to be like, huh? Well, that doesn’t happen every day.
Kelli: [00:30:18] So my big question was always like, what did Joseph think of this? You know, because if I’m me and I’m dating a dude or we’re betrothed or we’re living together, I don’t know. And I’m like, hey, I’m pregnant. It’s not yours, but don’t freak out. It’s the Holy Spirit. It’s OK. It’s not anyone else’s. All right. I would be like I would have questions for myself. So in the book of Matthew, it does go over how Joseph did try to leave Mary’s ass. All right. He tried to divorce her, but a different spirit came to him and was like, do not leave her. It is the Holy Spirit’s baby. She’s not lying to you. Just go with it, Joseph. OK, and it should be said that at the time, if your wife was unfaithful to you because Joseph and Mary were Jewish, that according to the Torah, you had to leave your spouse. So he was just doing what the Torah told him to. But then the angel came or the spirit or whoever, and he was like, fine, I will stay and raise this baby. All right. And then they were going to, like, give birth where they were living or whatever. But then, like the king of Bethlehem called Joseph back because he was like, you need to be counted for the Roman census, get back here. So they go back there and Mary’s in labor with the Messiah. There’s nowhere for them to go. And that’s how you get all that story. But basically, Joseph and Mary had nine kids after Jesus, which you don’t hear a lot about either. What happened to those people?
Matt: [00:31:29] I mean, that’s sort of the problem with when, like, you know, you’ve got like a famous older, you know, like you got that older sibling that just overshadows everbody.
Kelli: [00:31:38] Jesus. No, like a real bad firstborn kid achieving syndrome. So basically, there’s not much here to this. It wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. And the consensus is that Joseph and Mary probably did it. They probably boned and created Jesus and he became the Messiah. Sure. But he was not half Mary, half Holy Spirit. He was half Joseph. Right. Or maybe some other dude. We don’t know. We don’t know.
Matt: [00:32:04] But I mean, think that that stands to reason. You know, again, it’s it’s it’s Occam’s razor.
Matt: [00:32:09] Like, what’s more likely.
Kelli: [00:32:11] All the papers were like at the time, people didn’t know you had to have semen in an egg. And I’m like, shut up.
Kelli: [00:32:17] Ok, I think they kind of knew how it happened.
Matt: [00:32:21] Right. They might not know, like the the, you know, kind of microbiology around it, but pretty sure for quite some time, you know, it’s not like people didn’t understand cause and effect or at least correlating events, although I do know, like if you read Clan of the Cave Bear, like the Neanderthals apparently didn’t understand this very well and they had their own kind of thing. But that that that book is is terrible for so many reasons about understanding of, you know, earlier people. And you want to talk about, like getting ridiculous later to if you read the later books, it gets super convoluted.
Matt: [00:32:55] So I’m just saying.
Kelli: [00:32:57] “They had their own kind of thing”. Yeah, that’s pretty much all I found on the virgin birth, is that most religious scholars and historians agree that Joseph boned Mary and she became pregnant. Oh, but one other thing. Sometime in the 60s, the church did make sure it’s no longer heretical heretic. It’s no longer bad, naughty. You’re no longer going to hell if you say that Jesus didn’t if Mary didn’t have a virgin birth, you can say that in the church and be OK.
Matt: [00:33:24] It’s not a heresy anymore.
Kelli: [00:33:25] Heresy. Think I can’t use my words good. But yes, they changed that. You’re allowed to say that this probably didn’t happen as a virgin birth, but it’s also like the crux of Christianity. So it’s fine to also believe it. Absolutely believe that babies come from wherever you want to believe.
Matt: [00:33:41] I’m like, you kind of look at these stories and it’s like, you know, there’s angels and spirits and stuff just talking to people all the time, like they’re frickin sliding into their dreams. And it’s just interesting that suddenly they all got real quiet, you know, in the common era. So it’s almost like when maybe like Jesus came and did his thing. And part of that was like, all right. But see, now now I’ve been here. So we don’t we don’t have these one on ones anymore. You know, we’re not going to talk to you direct no more.
Kelli: [00:34:09] I feel like we could do a whole other episode on people who have had Jesus or the Virgin Mary appeared to them in like potatoes or Cheetos or pepperoni pizza, whatever.
Matt: [00:34:19] I think we I think we could.
Kelli: [00:34:20] It would be so fun.
Matt: [00:34:22] Does that kind of bring us to the end of the Jesus?
Kelli: [00:34:24] Yeah. Again, it wasn’t like super inspired research because it just gets so deep into, like, mysticism and the Knights Templar and other stuff. So I had to just kind of draw a line.
Matt: [00:34:35] I think this gives a good jumping-off point to some deeper episodes that will be doing.
Kelli: [00:34:39] Absolutely. And if anyone wants to write in a topic, you can be as specific as you want.
Kelli: [00:34:44] I would love to research whatever conspiracy or weird mystical thing or literally anything you want me to, because Matt and I do this just for ourselves so it can be whatever we want.
Matt: [00:34:53] And for Kelli’s mom,
Kelli: [00:34:54] And for my Mom and for Lala’s 12 friends, that all we.
Matt: [00:35:00] We do before we kind of talk about about food stuff a little bit, I do want to call back to a little bit to my friend Andy, who got very, very excited when he learned about Quiche-Anon. And he said he said there should be plenty of ingredients for food-based conspiracy theories. I currently subscribe to a few food podcasts and have subscribe to Conspiracy Theory podcast. I’m like, bring that Venn diagram together and listen to our show.
Kelli: [00:35:24] Yeah, Andy
Matt: [00:35:25] But he does say that spice trading has a lot of intrigue, especially historically. And if you think about saffron and if you eat a lot of saffron, you get really, really high, you know, like kind of a low level cocaine or something like that.
Kelli: [00:35:43] BRB. Heading to my kitchen cabinet right now.
Matt: [00:35:48] So we really that’s one thing is I will say we sort of have this show that is like conspiracy theories and food and we really haven’t brought the two together. So that’s something we’ll we’ll have to start thinking about.
Matt: [00:36:00] You know, I think there’s some options.
Kelli: [00:36:02] There is also the thing I’ll have to look it up to get really specific. But there was a thing where the people were eating the grain that was basically like acid and they hallucinated like an entire year of events.
Kelli: [00:36:15] Oh, yes, it was in England, I think.
Matt: [00:36:17] Coming soon on Quiche-Anon like and subscribe.
Matt: [00:36:21] I know this isn’t YouTube. I know I said I was dumb about social, but I do know the difference between a podcast and YouTube. So just so you know,
Kelli: [00:36:28] Watch our YouTube podcast and shut up.
Matt: [00:36:32] One of the things that we were going to talk about that’s related to food is yesterday I started kind of a new like three month long kind of, you know, health regimen. It’s a combination of diet and working out and working with kind of this virtual trainer. And it was interesting because the thing the reason I kind of was into it when I talk to him, he’s very realistic. You know, it’s very achievable. I mean, he’s like you like ice cream, like we’re going to get you to eat some ice cream. And I’ll tell you, like when we went through when we kind of had the session and he was like, coming up with what my meal plan will be, he’s like, you’re a big dude. I’m going to have a good time feeding you because he’s like, you could eat a lot. And in fact, he said, you’re going to find that I’m going to have you eating more than you you think you want to and you’ll get used to it. And that’s been kind of my experience after two days is, holy shit, is that a lot of food? And I think once I’m exercising more, I’ve been doing that for a couple of days, like, I will not feel like I’m eating too much, I mean, for context.
Matt: [00:37:36] So the other thing I want to get too much, but this is give some framework is like basically Monday through Friday. It is like eat the same thing every day for every meal kind of. And then you have to calorie tracking days that are like eat whatever you want, but you have a calorie target. You have to be plus or minus fifty calories on it. And which I think is he also kind of gave me like my dinner is like he’s like here you have a protein go like eat this much protein and how. It’s vegetables because he’s like, you know what, for dinner, you eat with your family, with your kids and whatever, and have it not be chicken breasts every night or whatnot. But my breakfast, my snacks and my lunch and my dessert are exactly the same every day. And so I can tell you every single thing but to put it in.
Kelli: [00:38:16] Tell us every single thing right now.
Matt: [00:38:17] So I could tell you everything.
Kelli: [00:38:19] I love it. So I’m not mad at it.
Matt: [00:38:22] Ok, so my breakfast is six egg whites, two strips of bacon, a cup of zero percent fat Greek yogurt. But mixed in with the yogurt is a Jello Snack Pack, zero calorie. And that was this thing. He’s like, you know, plain yogurt doesn’t taste very good, but he’s like, get yourself one of those, those sugar snack packs, mix that shit in. And it does make it taste better, but it also creates that much more food. So that’s every breakfast. And then my mid-morning snack is a protein shake that has a banana in it. And it’s like two scoops of the protein powder, a cup of almond milk, water and a banana and a RX bar.
Kelli: [00:39:00] I like all those things. I do.
Matt: [00:39:02] I love all of these things. But I’m keeping in mind this is and.
Kelli: [00:39:06] You just ate. Yeah,
Matt: [00:39:07] Yes.
Matt: [00:39:07] Lunch is a sandwich with eight ounces of lunch meat on it, which you’re like what? He said that to me at first. I’m like, OK, whatever. And then I started the first one I made. I start put it on the scale. I’m like, are you fucking kidding me? That is a lot.
Kelli: [00:39:22] And my dream lunch, I’m just going to start loading up the Italian sub every day. And it’s also plan.
Matt: [00:39:30] It can’t be every single thing. So it’s like, you know, it’s he’s also like, you got to get the same brand so he knows what it is. And then also like an apple or equivalent fruit, and that’s lunch. And then dinner is like I said, it’s sort of whatever, you know, how many grams of protein or whatever, like in some type of I, I can’t eat rib eyes. Like that’s a little ridiculous, but it’s like you don’t get something a little more lean. But yeah, I do steak, do pork chops, do whatever and basically a cup of Breyer’s strawberry ice cream for dessert every night.
Kelli: [00:39:58] That’s my real dream.
Matt: [00:40:00] And he told it’s funny because he told me he’s like, well he’s like, what would you like for dessert? Like, I love ice cream. He’s like, all right, tell me what you like. We’ll put it on your plan. I’m like, well, I like Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food or Americone Dream. He goes, Man, I cannot. He’s like, I cannot do Ben and Jerry’s for you. He’s like, you know why? Because you and I both know that the serving sign of Ben and Jerry’s is one pint is like I he’s like, you’re going to have to meet me halfway. We could do like Breyer’s or something. And he’s like, you can’t eat your Phish Food on your calorie tracking day. And yeah. And then but it’s also compounding just so that sounds like a huge amount of food and it is. But I’m doing thirty minutes of cardio every single day. I’m doing strength workouts three times a week. So and a lot of this is front loaded protein. Right. So that’s what I look at. It’s like six egg whites and eight ounces of lunch meat and it’s like it’s crazy. So also groceries is insane for this. Like, I went to the store and I was like, because that’s that’s a dozen eggs every two days.
Kelli: [00:40:59] But you’re getting like the egg white containers, right?
Matt: [00:41:01] No, no. I’m doing egg whites separating my eggs.
Kelli: [00:41:05] Why?
Matt: [00:41:06] Because I don’t know.
Matt: [00:41:07] Because the fake ones…
Kelli: [00:41:07] They literally sell containers of egg whites so that you don’t have to do that. You can just pour out six.
Matt: [00:41:14] Well, then I’m going to have to redo my thing and do a different measurement instead of counting how many I do know that tells you.
Kelli: [00:41:21] I think it’s like a tablespoon or two. Is egg white one egg white. Oh, OK. So it’s really easy and it’s for this and.
Matt: [00:41:28] They are totally like it’s not like Egg Beaters or something.
Kelli: [00:41:31] It’s like just your egg whites. Yeah.
Matt: [00:41:35] Maybe I should do that because I’m telling you separating six eggs every morning.
Kelli: [00:41:38] You’ll go broke.
Kelli: [00:41:39] Also getting a quality egg and only using the white, like that’s wasteful. So you get these containers and it’s super easy. I used to do it for swimming.
Matt: [00:41:47] Ok, I’ll do that on my next after I use up the thirty six eggs that I bought the other day.
Kelli: [00:41:52] At one time in my life I was a disciplined human. Today my breakfast was like coffee and a good cry.
Matt: [00:42:00] So I also think about this like with a lunch meat because it’s like the what’s the kind that I get that.
Kelli: [00:42:06] Is it like Boar’s Head?
Kelli: [00:42:09] Because you’ll go broke, you know, that’s the other thing.
Matt: [00:42:12] Oh, Jesus. Yeah. No, it’s.
Kelli: [00:42:15] And stay away from the subway tuna.
Matt: [00:42:17] Why? I mean I have my reasons, but when I was here,
Kelli: [00:42:21] We as normal people, all have our reasons.
Kelli: [00:42:23] But there’s a lawsuit right now because the subway tuna isn’t tuna.
Matt: [00:42:27] Oh, for real.
Kelli: [00:42:28] It’s it’s a mixture of things tuna-adjacent.
Matt: [00:42:30] so my problem with subway tuna is that when I was in college for a hot second, I worked at Subway. And the way you make the tuna is like because again, you’re making a huge amount of tuna. So it’s like you put on kind of the plastic gloves. You get a big bowl that’s full of the tuna for the managers, mix it with your hands. And it was like I was off tuna salad for a year, at least after working at Subway just because it was there was there was too much.
Kelli: [00:43:00] Canned tuna is one of the four foods I don’t like, but I do remember having to mix up that tuna. I didn’t work at Subway, but I worked at an Italian deli in college briefly. I was a terrible employee at the deli because I had to be a waitress. And I’m not really good at wanting to, like, meet others needs. So it just wasn’t the job for me. But mixing up that tuna was gross. But at Subway, luckily it’s not tuna.
Matt: [00:43:22] I guess that helps. So the thing is, so the lunch meat is the hillside or farms like thin sliced stuff and they sell it in like a one pound family size so that it’s too much.
Kelli: [00:43:35] Well, it’s for. No, it’s two. It’s. It’s two. Six.
Matt: [00:43:40] Well, I had to think about it because in my head it’s it’s too from like how much I pull out. But then I was like, I try to do the math in my head. I’m like, no, I think it’s four.
Matt: [00:43:50] Make that lunchmeat pull out game weak.
Kelli: [00:43:55] “Lunchmeat pullout game weak”. That has to be the title of the itself works. It works for your food and for the Virgin for the first. This is awful. Oh God. It’s so funny.
Matt: [00:44:09] So yeah, I’ll, I’ll report back on our next episode of Live in two weeks, at least two weeks of of doing this. And we’ll we’ll see how it’s going. But I’m looking forward to it. Know it’s keeping keep an honest and it’s all the other ridiculous stuff you have to do. Like every Thursday is like the check in and yes, it includes pictures and which I’ve also realized I need to make sure to delete those pictures off my phone right after I’m done. And a hack, you know, not because of that, but I’m thinking about that fun, like iPhone thing. It’s like featured photos, memories of the day. I’m like, I don’t need that shit coming up. Like, I’d be like, yeah, no, no, no, I don’t want this memory.
Kelli: [00:44:48] Thank you and goodbye, Apple. No, thank you.
Matt: [00:44:52] Especially because I have my home screen on my phone, has a widget that shows like photos of things I might like. Oh absolutely. Do not need that popping up as being like basically a quarter of the wallpaper of my phone.
Kelli: [00:45:03] It totally would do.
Kelli: [00:45:05] Just feel like here you are a day one.
Kelli: [00:45:07] Well for my my food news. I’m going to give a little shout out to this. He’s a cookbook author. Estaban at his Instagram handle is at Chicano Eats, but I did a really fun virtual cooking class with him this weekend with my mom. It was my mom’s one of my mom’s Christmas gifts for me. But we had such a fun time and it was just really cool because you just he sends you the ingredient list. He included a cocktail and we made Percelay and it’s like fun tequila pineapple cocktail. That was a good time. So check out his Instagram. And if you’re looking for something pandemic, you to do a cooking class. It was super fun. And now I have, you know, a bunch of pacioli I can eat all week. That’s like for Weight Watchers points of serving. So it’s a win.
Matt: [00:45:48] Can we put a put a link to the in-store or whatever in the show notes?
Kelli: [00:45:51] I’ll send it to you. Sorry, I didn’t even think I was going to do this, but the night my mom and I had so much fun.
Matt: [00:45:56] Well, if you enjoy this show as much as Kelli mom does, please tell your friends, you know, they can subscribe and you can listen on Spotify, you can find us. And I still call it the iTunes store, although I guess it’s actually called Apple podcasts, not iTunes. But either way, you can check us out there. And I think if you go to Quiche-Anon dotcom slash iTunes, it will take you directly to us in the iTunes store, where you could also leave us a review and wait. We’re also trying to get a bunch of yeah. Ratings. So Kelli was on a we wanted to get how many ratings were we trying to get?
Kelli: [00:46:38] I don’t remember.
Matt: [00:46:39] We have five right now.
Kelli: [00:46:41] Let’s get twenty by the end of the year. Twenty one by the end of twenty twenty.
Matt: [00:46:45] Oh, I just noticed we have a review in the iTunes store. So first of all we little out of the pipe. I’m about to do so. So here’s the thing now I’m looking at this. Our average is four point two out of five. So but if you look at the distribution,
Kelli: [00:47:03] Who’s giving us less than five stars?
Matt: [00:47:05] Oh one star.
Matt: [00:47:07] Oh, so you look at it, the best I can guess from the graph is that we have four, five star reviews and one one star review.
Kelli: [00:47:17] Show yourself.
Matt: [00:47:19] But this person, the only review that was written is a five star review that says, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. If you only listen to one food and conspiracy podcast, this is the one Kelli and Matt are true masters of content”, which tells me this person really does listen to our show because that is how we refer to ourselves.
Kelli: [00:47:42] That’s my mom. No, I’m just.
Matt: [00:47:44] Is your mom. “SomeThangWicked? I really hope not. The username is some thang wicked.
Kelli: [00:47:52] Well, something wicked. Thank you so much … and whoever left us a one star review, I’m…
Matt: [00:47:58] Kelli. It’s some THANG.
Kelli: [00:47:59] Some THANG wicked,
Matt: [00:48:02] So I also like, by the way, listener, we we I know it sounds like we’re making fun of you.
Matt: [00:48:07] We so aren’t because.
Kelli: [00:48:08] We’re not.
Matt: [00:48:09] We love all the beautiful.
Kelli: [00:48:10] We love you so much.
Matt: [00:48:11] And I just wanted to be accurate.
Matt: [00:48:13] When Kelli was mis naming you.
Kelli: [00:48:15] As SomeThangWicked, can you please show yourself so I can send you a present?
Kelli: [00:48:19] I will bribe people who give us five star review.
Matt: [00:48:22] That’s fair or well and that that write them like that rating is one thing. But give us if you give us a review, like let us know. And if you don’t want us to publicly acknowledge you by name, that’s fine. But you can tell us because again, the chances are quite good that if you’re writing a five star review of our podcast, you probably know how to get a hold of at least one of us.
Kelli: [00:48:42] But also, if you’re writing us one star, I want to know, are you a member of the real QAnon? Show yourself! Also, I want to talk to you.
Matt: [00:48:52] You can find out our show notes which have all the supporting links. If you go to Quiche-Anon Dotcom, you can follow us on Twitter at Quiche-Anon.
Matt: [00:48:59] You can follow us on Instagram at Quiche-Anon.
Matt: [00:49:03] And that’s pretty much all the places you can find us right now. We don’t have a Twitter, Pinterest or any of that stuff.
Kelli: [00:49:10] I don’t know what one of those things is, OK?
Kelli: [00:49:14] Twitch is like a streaming thing, like gamers do it and stuff. That’s where I stream my my show once a month Party Games,
Kelli: [00:49:21] Which I watch.
Kelli: [00:49:23] I just forgot it’s OK, which I want to be a part of also because I have FOMO.
Matt: [00:49:32] OK, well we can we can figure out a way.
Kelli: [00:49:34] I feel like I follow so many of your like dev-ops friends on Twitter. Now I just want to be a part of the group. You already think about it.
Matt: [00:49:41] Kelli we should have you on devops party games. I think you might have a hard time with it, but that also would make it fun.
Matt: [00:49:47] Like “I don’t know what the fuck a kubernetes is” so I’ll just try it.
Kelli: [00:49:50] But you guys talk about it all the time and I don’t know. But now it’s in my brain.
Matt: [00:49:55] Do you know that’s actually my license plate as a reference to that too, you know, so it’s terrible.
Kelli: [00:50:00] I don’t know what it is, but every time you guys tweet about it, I’m like, yeah,
Matt: [00:50:05] I can I can I can I can I quote you a tweet?
Kelli: [00:50:09] You can quote tag me.
Matt: [00:50:11] “I don’t know what Kubernetes is, but every time you all talk about it, I’m like, oh yeah”.
Kelli: [00:50:15] And the other day like someone was being mean to one of you. And I replied to them and I was like, you don’t need a degree to do anything.
Matt: [00:50:23] I don’t remember how I’m going to tie this together, but thanks for listening to it. That really gives a shit.
Matt: [00:50:29] No one but you know, follow us on Twitter, you know, let us know what you’d like us to talk about, like and subscribe. And as always, this is Quiche-Anon. And remember the truth.
Kelli: [00:50:42] And the tacos.
Matt: [00:50:44] Are out there.
"I don't what a kubernetes is, but every time one of you mentions it on twitter, I'm like 'YEAH!'" - @allaboutkelli— Matty Stratton, charismatic grifter (@mattstratton) February 3, 2021
Kelli is a fake blonde who lives in Chicago. She loves staring out her windows on summer nights watching drunk people stumble and yell. Her hobbies include 90 Day Fiancé, reading about true crime, and talking trash like it’s her job.
Matt Stratton lives in the Chicagoland area and has three awesome kids, whom he loves just a little bit more than he loves Doctor Who. He is currently on a mission to discover the best phở in the world.